All this stuff's gone now.
There was a field behind my house with a house in it. Our house looked like it was on a normal street from the front but the back just opened up. Big empty field dry as tinder nest to spider thorn and centipede. Sometimes a horny toad sometimes a snake. And there was a normal house out there, a small one but normal, the stuff around the house wasn't normal unless you lived in nowhere then it was at least understood. There was a kid lived there with his uncle didn't associate with the other kids much. There weren't many of us. We sure weren't normal like the houses looked from the front. Some of us were normal, enough, anyway.
But that kid though. Dark Huckleberry.
I heard, I ain't trying to look it up, it was some kind of murder suicide thing back in the 00s, long after I'd gone.
Three of us gone? Some I lost track of. 4 was alive last I heard like ten years ago. 5 is alive, in rehab now, been out of prison for...3 years? 6 dead, gunshot. Same with 7. 9 was still surviving out there, somehow, like 7 years ago. kid from the house would've been 10 if he'd been one of us, 11 and 12 I lost track of.
Those are relative ages. Weird coincidence.
There was a fucking emu ranch out there. Dickheads started importing them for meat which tastes like steak if steak was made out of tire. Maybe they'll inherit. Cursed desert ruled by meth emus.
Then there was the city kids. The First Band. 2/5 gone. High Shcool! Such as it was, my parents pulled me out of public school in tenth grade and put me in this weird church camp where I sat in literally a cubicle 7 hours a day and read about Noah and how geometry wasn't real because the greeks were permissive of adultery and homosexualism.
The house in the field had a bunch of junk cars all over, that kind of place. Barkin ass dog. I don't recall anyone having any particular politics back then as far as the urban/rural divide. Or small oilfield town/poorly thought out spec housing project between middle of nowhere and an oil refinery. Everybody was a fucking bigot hoo boy, let's make that clear that place like most places needed and needs a top to bottom overhaul.
Everybody loved Reagan though. He's gonna win us the war.
And here I am. Counting dead friends like some grizzled old man in his 40s while we fight the same goddamn wars for the same assholes. Like literally the same usually, they just allow more minorities on the big stage and, like, sometimes the very white lady speaker of the house wears a dashiki and reads Bono.
That can't have happened, right?
That can't be right.
Look, I'm not saying we haven't made progress, we can all clearly see that we haven't made progress. Correction. Some of us have eyes. We can all clearly grok that we haven't made progress.
Wait, grok never caught on? Oh, and he was sexist. I mean obviously he was sexist, but like to the degree that it needs to be commented on 50 years later? I mean, yeah, that's what the internet is you get to be psychic whether you want to be or not.
Or you go crazy.
I don't know why I'm in such a bad mood today. I wanted to watch a three hour Mount & Blade tutorial on Youtube
I need to fucking make something I'm a goddamn weird artist but I haven't been making anything in a very long time other than this fucking thing and I'm like a fucking vampire that's been surviving on rats in the sewer for decades. Only instead of sucking blood I need to like, cum, but cum art. You know what it feels like to successfully art, right?
Rock and roll is popular again right? I should do that again. I've got this like matte black Charvel on a stand behind me I can feel it glaring at me.
I'm fine. Don't worry about me and my dead friends, we're fine. I'm sure you got people of your own to worry about. I only do weed now, I didn't like take a break from being incredibly boring to go out deal with drug people after a long week at an incredibly boring office job. Thank you Jimmy K, and I promise just weed and sometimes mushrooms but I'm not on mushrooms now.
As one, comrades.
That's gonna be like my catchprhase, 'as one, comrades.' That'll catch on for sure.
